There I was. In the middle of the gymnasium packed full of other fifth and sixth grade student’s with their science fair projects. I was in the center of the column nearest the wall. I had done my science fair report on how much guinea pigs eat in a week. I weighed the food, and made a graph that I colored in brown. The lettering was in bubble writing.
Looking back….the judges should have known that a fifth grader did that all by herself. No help.
And I did.
I had a display with my guinea pig “Chewy” in his cage, a chart and the foods that he ate.
I looked to my right, and there was a boy who has a volcano that smoked. It had amazing detail and I thought it was so cool.
I looked to my left and saw a project that lit up when you pressed a button. Ingenious! Amazing.
Then there was me.
I stood by my project, like all the other students, watching parents and judges applaud and hover over the projects that were truly amazing.
They passed me by and smiled.
I didn’t like the feeling……at all.
I thought to myself, “This is no fair! All these kids had help from their parents!”
I still think that extra credit needs to be given to those kids to do it all by themselves!
From that point on, I vowed that I would work hard and keep up with the kids who had parental help on their projects.
I had the choice of either letting that situation beat me up and make me a victim or beat me up and fight to be the best I can be.
With God’s help, I chose the latter.
Now, when I go to my children’s science fair shows, I make sure that I talk to the child who obviously did it on their own and give them “Extra Credit.”
It is amazing how these seemingly innocuous events from childhood can impact us in the long term.
By the way, my blog moved. Here is the new address: http://larrydbernstein.com/me-myself-and-kids/
Nice blog! Where can I comment on your new blog? I tried.
There is a list in blue at the bottom and the next to last words says comments (14). I hope that is clear. It’s easier to give directions verbally.
Oh….I see it.
Thanks.
You got it.
I remember the science fair, oddly, from the same vantage point as you. I bet you make a difference to those kids who did the work themselves. What a great follow up attitude you had as well.
awww. Thanks. Well, I kinda felt all alone. Everyone’s project seemed better than mine….but I guess it just motivated me. You did your project by yourself too? Would you say you are a self-driven person?
I did do my project alone. It was on “guns”. I interviewed my uncle who offered to bring in weapons. Mind you this was eons before guns were the issue they are now. And he would have remained with the weapon. But my teacher said no. At the science fair I had my poster board and report and that was it. When the judges came around they asked me why I didn’t have a gun there and I told them. They told me that wasn’t true. I was standing there with a piece of poster and a paper report. Ho hum.
I was NOT self driven as a child. Nor as a teenager.
I am now. And it’s kind of kicked in to over drive. I find myself intrigued, interested and fascinated by so much that I can’t keep up with myself!
I’m sad that those judges said that to you. They accused you of lying about your project?! Sad. and you were alone….no one to help vouch for you.
I have so much respect for those kids. The ones who do it on their own. Maybe it’s driven by compassion.
I feel the same way, so much interests me, and I don’t have time for it all. BTW….I was in J.C. penny’s this Saturday and I saw a coffee mug that said, “Chatter Master.” I thought of you! Maybe I should have sent it to you?
I did feel like the judges thought I was lying. They didn’t say that and I’m not sure they even implied it. I just remember being so sad that they said I could, and then stood there looking at me so I’m not sure what they were thinking.
I do know that my uncle would have been there for me if we had known we could have him there so that helped some.
And the mug? SWEET to know sometime someone was thinking about me and I didn’t even know it. HOw awesome is that? Thank you for the wonderful thought. How about if I go to JCP and if I see it, I will get it and then always think of you.
You’re sweet! I think it said, “Chatter Master….or Chatter box.” one of the two.
Here it is….http://compare.ebay.com/like/170976103698?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar
It did say, Little miss chatter box.
That just made my morning! Second day in a row someone became my FAVORITE of the day before I even go through my hour on the bike!
Thank you!
Oh how very true…I remember once in I think grade 5 or 6 and we were to research an occupation that maybe we would some day like to do. I researched through encyclopedias and other ways and wrote my essay. Then I found out that all the other kids had gone to the library and got pamphlets that they had already printed up with all information and simply copied off that. I got the same mark they got and I felt it was so unfair.
It’s funny how something like that sticks in your brain until your blog made me remember… There ought to be a better guideline for judging and giving marks…… I’m glad that you remember that and give attention to the ‘self-doers’ Diane.
Yes I think so too. There should be a better way of judging. I currently struggle with this because my husband does a whole lot more for the kids then I think he should. I want the kids to do it on their own with some help….But not alone. My husband is very focused on the children getting good grades. When I told him this story, I could tell he was saddened. Thank you for your comment.
I too have memories of those science fairs. We never had the money to outspend the other parents and children, not to mention my dad worked long hours and my mother at that time still had trouble learning ad understanding English. So mine was always done on poster board – not to creative. I always got a decent grade but thought it was hypocritical (that is today’s word, back then I thought it was unfair) that we were told to do it ourselves and yet the ones that had help always got the awards and “A”‘s, and this coming from a Catholic school! My son had the problem with boy scouts and their pinewood derbies. He always felt cheated – and it is a shame because he was always so proud. His last year in scouting was when he found out the parents were putting in extra weights in the cars which were illegal to do in pinewood derby law, and never got into trouble. Today he is a good youth leader and I notice always gives that little extra support to the ones who need it more. And I notice it encourages the other children to do the same.
That just drives me crazy. To see parents cheating!? We don’t want our children to Cheat. That brings up another good point. Watching professional athletes as they use steroids or “dope” (essentially cheating) in order to win. What is that telling our children? These things ought not happen. The bar must be set higher! Thank you Patty for your comment.
so true…
I totally agree with this. I’m guilty of taking over my kid’s projects, for pete sake! What’s that all about? I got wise pretty quick, though. What’s the point of sending them to school if they’re not going to learn how to make it on their own. As long as there are parents that are competitive and controlling and who don’t understand this very simple idea, there will always be kids who feel less than – even though they shouldn’t.
Kudos to all the boys and girls who take on projects by themselves and learn from their solo effort. Those projects are worth more. Be proud, I say.
Lisa
Thank you for your encouraging words! My husband helps out our kids, I think, too much. Yes, they get first place and move on to the next level….I struggle with this. I think we should help them, but not do the work for them. Do you think kids to do the work all by themselves are internally driven, by nature? This is making me think.