I feel my way around the pitch black room and there is no way out. My heart is racing when I hear the noise of someone stirring. A match is lit and I see a man take a stick of dynamite
putting the match flame to it. Blackness, a crackling noise, a sputtering light and no way out. I quickly sit upright in my bed! It’s 4:14 am. My heart is racing and pounding in my ears, I’m
shaking and drenched in sweat.
Why?
The dream is symbolic of what I feel.
It’s the morning of an MRI for my cancer check-up – I’m claustrophobic – there is no way out and I’m scared! Fear – it can creep up on you in
the middle of the night or it can come slamming down on you when you are fully aware of your surroundings.
When I was a twenty-something, I experienced two life-changing events that seemed to come out of nowhere and couldn’t have been more
fear producing.
The first was when I came upon a motorcycle wreck and the victim was lying in a crumpled heap beside the road drenched in blood. Fear slammed down on me as I covered gaping holes to stop the serious blood loss from his badly broken legs. I held him in my arms, assured him he would be alright and waited for an ambulance to come.
Three years later a friend and I were victims of a mugging. A man with a knife stabbed my friend repeatedly. I screamed like a banshee for help which made the mugger run. I knocked my friend, who was in shock, to the ground so I could cover gaping holes in his body to stop the blood loss. I held him in my arms, assured him he would be alright and waited for help to come. Both of the men survived and so did I but not without some lasting, keen awareness of what real fear is.
When I was twenty-something, I wasn’t sure how to make sense of this tenuous life where blood can flow out of your body and with it – your life. I did not know God but only had a fleeting notion of the One who created the universe – someone who was so powerful you could only know about Him. I was aware of Him and believed He existed but I had no relationship with Him. He had a relationship with me though and did NOT let me go. He walked me through those traumas without me knowing how.
As a thirty-something I heard more about this distant God who had a Son, Jesus. Jesus allowed that same human, tenuous, lifeblood that I had witnessed pouring out of those two men those fateful, fear-filled nights – pour out of Him and down a cross so that I could have a relationship with Him. He shed His blood to cover my sins and cause me to be able to come in to the presence of the One who created me!
Now, at fifty-something, I am keenly aware of Jesus’ presence and pray asking Him for help when fear creeps up on me or slams down on me.
He IS the way out.
He promises to walk with me through all things that will come at me in this life. His words in Scripture promise, Matthew 8:28b “…lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.”
He is with me through big events (my cancer walk) and my small, fear-filled dreams. Through trauma, fear and sorrow. Through joy, blessings and laughter. He is there!
My MRI is at 7:30. Time to get dressed. I have prayed for Jesus’ presence and know in the core of my being He will be there with me. Time to let Jesus cover my fears with His blood, to hold me in His gentle arms and assure me I’m going to be alright as I wait for MRI to be done. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
P.S. I am back home and the MRI went great – Jesus and I made it through just fine!
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I met Vera years ago in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). BSF is a world-wide bible study. She is a gentle, compassionate vibrant soul who loves God and people. She currently lives in Winchester, Virginia. She can be reached at vera.kordella@facebook.com Click here for more information on BSF.
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Vera’s story is one of conquering fears and knowing God’s presence. Are you a fearful person? Do you fear what people will say about you? Are you afraid of the dark? Are you afraid of your dad, your husband, your mother or getting older?
Do you feel trapped?
Jesus is the Way out. Cry out to Him earnestly. He will hear you. He will help you. “There is no fear in love. Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18. God is perfect love. Fear is unable to stay in God’s presence.
What do you have to lose? Fear? Worry? Dread? Hopelessness? Depression?
Thank you so much Vera for sharing your story!
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Thank you for sharing this story. It was powerfully difficult to read of those two incidents she went through, and powerfully hard to hear of yet another cancer battle, and powerfully charged to read of her faith.
It never ceases to amaze me how God touches each of us. What a testimony in the midst of her trials to have her faith strengthen as she relies on Jesus to carry her through and to calm her fears. She is an amazing woman of God. I also like the quote: “beauty for ashes, stories of God’s redeeming love”
I know. She his a delight! Thanks Patty!
Thanks to those who have read my story and thanks for the sweet and encouraging words!!! I will post the results of my tests when I hear and let you know how the Lord continues to walk with me!!! Blessings!
Wow. Powerful story! Thank you for sharing my post. Prayers for Vera!
You are welcome! Thank you for allowing me to share.
Thank you Vera for sharing your testimony of the goodness of God and your experiences with Him. I pray many will be encouraged and strengthened by your words.